Letting Go

I constantly strive to keep an open mind.  I find myself judging strangers or making conclusions about close friends and I have to stop myself, remembering that everyone is different.  What is right or good for me is not necessarily right or good for the other person.  Who am I to criticize what they do?  To the other end, I’ve also learned that there are some times when I am right.  I know, hard to believe, but it happens on occasion.  Nonetheless, I’ve had to keep those judgments to myself a lot lately, as good friends and employees look to move away.

I always find it interesting how people feel that moving away is the best solution.  If you grew up in LA, Portland is the answer to still be cultured but avoid the materialism.  If you grew up in Idaho, then Colorado, Southern California, wherever, they all offer the answers that you couldn’t find at home.  When people tell me they want to move to X location my first reaction, which I keep to myself, is, “Why?”  Or, “Ick.”  And I find my mind completely closed.  Within the few seconds of those conversations I realize that I need to let go – let go of them, let go of the thought that my home is the best place to be.  In a way it’s just me being selfish because I don’t want to lose my friend.  I’m like the over protective parent that won’t let their son make the jump.  It’s been tough at times, but I learn better every day that you have to let people explore, go to new places, fail and pick themselves back up.

I had a very fortunate upbringing, which allowed me to travel all over the world and spend a lot of time in all corners of the United States.  (Except for Texas, and I still don’t have a desire to visit.  See, close minded.)  I forget that my friends haven’t spent time in Georgia, or Washington, or Vermont.  I’ve had the chance to go there, see what I love and don’t like about the area.  This has enabled me to see that for me, personally, Idaho holds what I want.  However, without my parents, the scholarships, sponsorships, I wouldn’t have had those experiences.  If my parents didn’t support me 100% when I said I wanted to go to school in California, I would still be wondering if the state held the answers to all of my questions.  My parents let me go without passing judgment, it’s time for me to do the same.

Part of my problem is that I love where I live and I absolutely love my life.  Sometimes I wonder if my friends are crazy because they don’t see the same benefits as I do to where we live.  Not really, but it’s hard for me to understand living in the heart of a large city.  As my friends leave, I learn better every day that it’s ok, that it’s for the better and the person will grow from the experience.  If all goes well, they’ll be back, like me, and be happier for it.

So to those of you who have left recently, or will be leaving soon – live it up.  Be irresponsible every now and then.  Buy into what they say and check it out for yourself.   Just remember to observe so you can learn along the way and figure out what really makes you the happiest.  At the end of the day that’s what’s most important, waking up and looking forward to the next adventure, even if it’s just the next day at work.  I look forward to hearing about it all along the way.

One of my favorites from Kerouac to conclude…”What is that feeling when you’re driving away from the people and they recede on the plain till you see their specks dispersing?–it’s the too-huge world vaulting us, and it’s good-bye. But we lean forward to the next crazy venture beneath the skies.” Jack Kerouac

~JDR~

P.S. This all may sound really cliché, but sometimes we need a reminder to listen to the clichés.  Getting stuck in our daily routines we forget to take a moment to lift our head out of the work and drama clouds and look at the big picture.